Love..

What is LOVE??

- Is it sweet or is it sour?

- Is it soothing or is it turbulent?

- Is it something you should look for or is it something you should run away from?

- Is it real or is it just a sham?

- Is it about making compromises or is about understandings??

- Is it a mutual pact of coexistence or dominance of one over another?

- Does the ‘distance’ really matter?

- Is it vague or crystal clear?

- Is it “made for each other” coming together or about making yourself perfect for the other person?

- Is it about feeling good when you are together or crying out loud when you are not?

- Is it about giving or taking or sharing?

- Is love life or is life love?

I long for an answer because lately I’ve been really confused about it. 

From what I know- 

Love is like Pikachu!! Sometimes its annoying and sometimes it can give you the thunderbolt attacks but at the end of the day its the sweetest and the most adorable thing you have. It has the power to make you happy in the darkest of your days.

Its like a drug and people who are addicted to it know what I'm talking about. The way you feel when you commit to someone is magnificent. Every part of your being craves to be with the other person when you are not together.

Its one of the sweetest feelings that can calm you down in the most arduous days. You cannot see it but you sure can feel it and its as real as you and me and everything around us. It feels good to know that someone has faith in you and it makes you want to be a better human being. Its appealing, its pleasant, its  sane, its holy. 

I would like to end it with a quote that I undoubtedly believe in.

"Love is always patient & kind

It is never jealous

Love is never boastful or conceited

It is never rude or selfish

It doesn’t take offense & isn’t resentful

Love take no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth

It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope & to endure.....whatever comes”

This is the easiest that I can explain. If you have a different point of view please comment :)

Expectations

Expectations : Root cause of misery.

Expect something from someone, he/she lets you down, you feel bad, you end up being sad.

When you start expecting from someone you give him/her the power to influence you, your feelings, your mind, your human nature and everything around you. For example -you expect a friend to call on your birthday but he doesn’t, you expect a friend to inform you first about something but he doesn’t at all, you expect to be someone’s closest friend but then you realize that you are not even counted in the “good friends”.

When you come to know about this it can totally piss you off and its okay, after all you had your reasons to expect from the other person. There must be some kind of relationship that you guys have. It all can be justified.

I’ve done my part. In the end nothing happened. I ended up infuriated. I just learnt from my own mistakes - don’t expect from others. It’ll get you nothing except pain, sorrow, anger, exasperation and aggravation.

Most of the people won’t even consider that you’ve done something for them. For them its just a trifle favor which can easily be repaid. Do something for others, help them but don’t expect anything in return.

Crossroads

Crossroads play a very important role in a person’s life, in determining what he is gonna do and what he is gonna be. Its funny to realize that your one decision can completely change what you are. Your whole life depends on your decisions. Not on the path you chose but on the path you abandon. What would have happened if you would have done the other thing? This is a question which we usually ask ourselves (at least I do) but the thing is that we’ll never come to know what would have happened. Life takes different turns in different circumstances. People say that things would have been better if you would have done the other thing but it doesn’t work like that. You can take your bloody head off but you won’t come to know what you’ve missed. Every decision comes with its own consequences - its experiences, punishments and rewards. It depends on you if you like it or not. Actually the rewards and punishments don’t matter. The only thing that stays with you is the experience. Thats what you can talk about, thats what you can pass on to other people, thats what matters.

If you clear your head and try to analyze it life gets really simple and decisions even simpler. Every crossroad has a simple answer and you know it without exception - you want it or you don’t, you wanna go or you wanna stay, you wanna live or you wanna die. In the two options one is right and the other is wrong. Most of us take the easy way out because the other one is too damn hard. I don’t think theres any harm in taking the easy way. The only difference is that if you take the harder path the reward is better and by reward i mean the experience of hardships. Its like Robert Frost says -

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

 I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

What exactly is the author trying to say here? He is just telling us that since he took the path which most of the people leave - that being the right or the hard one - he has something different and more exciting to tell us. Exploration, getting to know something new - thats what life is all about. Take the harder way and trust me you’ll be more satisfied than any other person in the whole World.

KMC Mangalore - Then & Now

After working my ass off I finally got selected in the university I really wanted to go to. Got the second campus in the counseling & was pretty confident that I'll be transferred in no time, but didn't know that fate has planned something else for me.

I came to Mangalore in August 2010 to begin my medical career. Initially I didn't talk to people much, went outside the room only to go to the class or to the mess. Even my room-mate wasn't there so had no one to talk to & I was fine with it as I was pretty sure that I'll get a transfer.
 
Time went by & nothing happened, no vacancy, no shift but I didn't give up my hope & waited till the very last moment. It didn't happen. So, I was kinda broken, helpless, shattered actually but couldn't do anything.

Classes went on & on for sometime. Then came the CR elections. Sadly, because of a friend I stood for it & got screwed :P. Don't wanna go in the details. Anyways, I decided on getting to know people here. I was taken aback when I came to know that my colleagues didn't even know that I was in their batch. Getting to know that people to whom I talk on a regular basis don't know my batch was freaky. They used to say "Are you in MBBS? I thought you were a BDS guy." Not their mistake as I used to hang out with the BDS guys quite a lot. This went on for a few days along with different questions "Did you join late?" & "Are you a day-scholar?" followed by me telling them that I've been here from the very first day & I stay in the hostel itself & then the laughing together.

I used to believe that people here were really nerdy and boring but after socializing for a while i realized that I was wrong. Though some of them are nerdy (my best friend is a nerd :P). But most of them are pretty cool and funny. Really talented and bright students.

Now, when I can say that I have some good friends here I've got some amazingly awesome moments to talk about - me screwing up my song, Indranil running "STRAIGHT" on the road, Krishna's Hindi accent, Gondi's "tak keta bis", Mishaal's "abhey saale & yo yo", Ramki's curses, Rutajeets's coffee (to keep him up at night), Malvika's hyperactivity, Anjali crying, Snigdha's terror among other kids, hours of continuous COD & specially the walks with Tofu, aalu & tamatar. :P

I'm glad this place has finally gotten into me & thanks to people here. I hope my next 4 and a 1/2 years would be amazing. Thank you guys - whose names are written above & some whom I've missed (sorry bout that) - for making it so awesome for me. That is it for now. I'll keep on updating my experiences in other posts that follow. :)

Emotions

The only thing that makes you weak as a person is ‘emotion’. This thing has the power to drive you crazy. One moment you laugh like a crazy kid and sometimes you cry like a crazy girl. People go mad because of this. They cry, scream, fight, ruin everything they’ve ever worked for just because of one petty thing. You must be thinking that i’m crazy to say that its a small thing, but seriously think about it. The whole city of Troy was razed because one fucking bastard fell in ‘love’ with a bitch who was already married to someone else. ‘Love’ is the scariest of all the emotions. Be it love for power, money, fame, honor or a woman. Trace back the whole of history and you won’t find a single war whose root cause is something different. Everyone says love is an amazing feeling but thats only the superficial thing that you see. The core is something totally different.
We all have come to this World to do something and trust me its not to love. Everything around you (as my friend says) is "BUSINESS". Everyone everywhere is just worried about himself. Most of the people won’t agree with me but later at some point of time in their lives will understand what i’m trying to state right now. You need to understand that nothing really matters. Nothing in this World should affect to you so much that you lose your frigging mind. Things go wrong when that happens. The World would be a much better place to live in if there are no feelings, no emotions, no happiness and no sorrow.

Victim Of Desire

I came out fresh from my mother’s womb

Someday would be somebody’s groom

Learnt ways of this world as each day passed

Was an innocent boy but now i’m sassed

I sit alone and stare in a void

Look for reasons why I’m annoyed

Don’t know what it is that I aspire

I’m telling you now I’m a victim of desire

You came in my life with a bright light

Everything got colored which was earlier black and white

You were the one who admired me for what I was

In my wandering life you gave a cause

The days I spent with you fascinate me still

Before that they had no thrill

Thought you were the only one whom I require

I didn’t know then I was a victim of desire

Its ‘WE’ no more, its ‘I’ alone

You were my butterfly but now you’ve flown

I walk alone when i feel depressed

It was you for whom I was obsessed

You had your reasons to do what you did

Finally found out what I hid

Deceit is what was my attire

What else could I do, I was a victim of desire

I thought I was fine, I was gonna make no mistakes

All I wanted to do is taste different cakes

It’s been a long time I haven’t faked

Looked straight but sometimes I liked getting baked

I’m headed towards what they call a ‘wreck’

What I now crave for is a peck

My life is like a worn out tyre

Be anything but not a victim of desire

SAGAR JAIPURIAR

Thy Heart Is Black

The day is grey and i feel so blue

I never thought it would be you

Silence sweeps and the day is gone

I came to know i was just a pawn

You had other bigger dreams

Which were far beyond my means

I was wondering what i lack

Then i saw thy heart is black

I saw you walking on the subway stairs

Getting all soaked up by the pouring that was on

I saw your smile and i knew i was slain

Was mesmerized and i felt lame

I dreamt of you day and night

There was not a streak of light

Then i saw a silver lining

I saw you again when the sun was shining

I thought then like you there are not many

But what to do i didn’t have clue any

I was sober and i wasn’t slack

But i didn’t know thy heart is black

You were running after the bus and i gave my hand

You grabbed it tightly and later thanked

We talked for a while before you had to get off

Something was working and i was feeling soft

I didn’t want to let you go

It was a feeling i couldn’t control

I waited for you there everyday

“she won’t come” my friends used to say

But you sure did come on a rainy day

How beautiful you looked i cannot say

I came to you and for a while we talked

“i really like her” was all i thought

I felt there was nothing that you could lack

Because then i didn’t know thy heart is black

We used to kiss in the mellow rain

When with you i felt no pain

Your voice was like a song by the choir

It turned out to be blazing fire

You wanted me to be there for you

When your time came where were you?

The game you played was an ugly one

My feelings for you, there are none

I felt lying was your only knack

Thats just not it, thy heart is black

Now its over and the days are gone

Its just you who has to mourn

Death, she crawls near

I ain’t got nothing to fear

Thats what life is all about

You are here and then you are out

You might want me to take you back

But babe the joke is on you,

As i now know thy heart is black

SAGAR JAIPURIAR